I have had moments were I have struggled to do this, periods of hesitation or inaction where I have been too soft, too polite, laughed it off, buried it inside me. A lot of people may have the same difficulties with this, but it can be harder for women because it goes against the ideal of how we are supposed to behave. An ideal of womanhood built on history and films, on cultural norms and ideologies that run far deeper than our individual journeys. We don’t want to be a burden, be seen as aggressive or rude, to complain, be uncaring or, the ultimate trump card, to be called “too emotional”. An incredible friend sent me an email reflecting on the myth of sacrifice as the greatest nobility, an act often made by women for everybody else. This ideal needs to be denounced as to suppress any person’s emotional or physical needs has damaging effects on everyone. It is not a reasonable expectation, it is not the same as love or as mutually beneficial, reciprocated compromise where the goodness that follows means there was no sacrifice.

We have all been destabilised by thoughtless or difficult interactions. We know that our hair, our curves, our clothes and our level of ‘femininity’ do not negate our intelligence or our right for respect, but often judgement from others has already occurred unconsciously and started to get under our skin. We might have been walking along full of fabulous, sexy energy when one lazy heckle made us doubt ourselves. We might have been hurt by a guy who chatted all evening to our male friends about politics and art, but whose only engagement with us was to tease us about our appearance. We might have felt awkward when someone unexpectedly tried to kiss us at a party and then was taken aback when we did not want to, because “surely we knew where this was going.” We might look away when we observe that words from a male colleague are received with so much more recognition than our own, even when we know what we are saying is correct. Maybe someone we respect is treating women very unfairly and we cannot find a reason big enough to justify their actions. Maybe we were groped, flashed at, or masturbated at on public transport and we ran away in horror.

The scenarios are, unfortunately, plentiful. And all too often the result is still this: We say nothing even though we know we would feel better if we pointed it out. We say nothing because we suppose it is not really a big deal, or because we are afraid of being too boring, pessimistic or impolite. Because we think we have left it too late. Because we think it would contradict our earlier understanding. Because we question ourselves before questioning others. Because we have been taught to cross the road away from danger rather than to ask why that danger exists. Because often it is the normalisation of the inequality or bad behaviour, the confidence with which it is executed, that means we make excuses for others or hide away from our own discomfort. So we keep our frustrations inside us, thorns that niggle away and eventually stop us from sleeping.

We need to be ready to catch ourselves when this happens, to transcend unhelpful judgement or fear, and keep on speaking out and kicking ass. And women everywhere are doing just this. Women of all ages and backgrounds are being brave, resolute and true to themselves and to others. I celebrate you all for your sassy awesomeness, for oozing magnificent, no-nonsense confidence. Please continue to stand up for yourself and others, argue back when you have to, cry if you want to, reveal yourselves as the complex and fully rounded human beings that you are in the way that suits your needs most. If we all keep going, the world will have no choice but to accept this and make space for us. Perhaps we feel compelled to speak up in ways that men have always been permitted to, but still can be seen as shocking coming from a woman. Perhaps we convey our dissatisfaction and our pain with more emotion than is socially acceptable. But do not apologise for your tears, they are the honest, physical expression of your feelings. And obviously, the more men who get it, the more men who can really listen and genuinely make room for us, who understand sometimes it is hard and painful, who can join in the party, the better it will be. And some of them do get it, and even more are trying to.

And clearly it is not a binary decision to either be caring or to be strong. The very notion of strength and how this should be manifested can be oversimplified and used to disregard the bravery of exposing vulnerability or compassion. Actually, strength and assertion grown out of care or a desire to understand can be the most powerful combination of all. Of course, the idea that women should be free to be fierce as well as tender is pretty easy to support for lots of people, the ideas expressed here are far from new. But I still believe this needs to be spoken about, repeated again and again with new words and fresh determination. Firstly, because not everyone is onboard yet. Not everybody gets it. Not everyone sees that repression due to gender inequality is a real thing, a horrible weight in the stomach of many societies that is detrimental to all, something that needs to be undone.

Secondly, it is vital to keep these ideas bubbling at the surface because reminders are still helpful for those already seemingly up to speed, because it is surprisingly easy for there to be a disconnect between our values and our actions. It can take time and effort for these to line up. For all sexes. Sometimes we might not even notice the disparity, until one day it becomes so glaringly obvious we cannot believe we did not see it before. And clearly, speaking up is not always easy. Even for the best of us there are moments where being our strongest, truest selves just feels too difficult. So how can we help ourselves? For me the key lies in reaching outwards, in connecting with those who speak to our hearts and sense of self. No woman or man is an island and there is no shame in drawing on the support and wisdom of others to feel better and figure stuff out.

Tune in with people who are thinking in all kinds of unexpected, insightful ways and putting it into words, music and art. Devour books that transform your pain into fascination, allow their words to educate and empower you. Read about other women’s’ adventures, other people’s journeys. Hunt out remarkable, thoughtful films that capture the essence of how it really is. Films about people whose lives are totally different from your own, whose struggle and bravery lifts you out of your own confusion. Listen to powerful, joyful, heartbreaking, sexy music that makes you want to move every fibre of your beautiful body. Turn it up and dance through your fear. Go to exhibitions were artists have splashed their anguish and their love on the walls as things of beauty. Seek out shows: challenging cabaret, intelligent comedy, meaningful theatre. Be in the literal space with people whose energies are big, colourful and full of passion.

Find your personal tribe and embrace them. Make a habit of sharing any strange or uncomfortable public or personal experiences with trusted, key friends whose values are in sync with your own. This past couple of years I have been very lucky to have travelled a great deal and been exposed to all kinds of new situations and fresh faces. But, of course, not every interaction can be positive. Weird moments are inevitable no matter where we are. During this time of exploration, I have taken immense pleasure in sharing my experiences and feelings with some important, astonishing people in my life, by speedy, virtual means, and by catching up whenever I’m back home, discussing and laughing over wine and love. These meaty, delectable conversations where we get to the heart of the matter are dynamic rivers in continual flow, there to engulf ourselves in whenever we need them. And these special bonds do more than make me feel good. They also make me far more likely to act in a way that is in keeping with what I believe is acceptable, and to do so with confidence. I know I am not alone. We dissect the big and small issues we are facing together. We wade in without judgement, reflect from different angles, make jokes, forgive our own mistakes and try to give advice we would give our own daughter. We get to be indignant on the other’s behalf. We share in and thereby diffuse each other’s pain. We gain perspective on our own predicaments, our own outrage. We test and develop our values. And it can be so much fun! We are making sense of this world in all its madness together. These people, they really get it. Maybe I don’t even need to check in with the real them because I already know what to do. But I feel their weight behind me, trusting and loving me. And this gives me extra courage.

My final tip is to keep hopeful and stay joyful. I choose to see the good in others first, to be optimistic not cynical about humanity. I have been very fortunate in so many ways so far in my life, and I am sure this makes things much easier for me than for many. The world can be beautiful through smiling eyes! But this optimism can be a bit dangerous. The world is also very unequal, and pain, fear, insecurity or lack of awareness can cause people to take all manner of negative actions that have wide reaching repercussions. Not everyone has our best interests at heart, not every person we meet is striving to be as fair or kind as they possibly can. There are too many external factors that are working against this, too many triggers that can cause people to do cruel and selfish things, to lack imagination. We must accept this reality, recover from our disappointment and be bold in calling out behaviour that is not ok on every level we encounter it. So stay positive and considerate, but do not be naive.

But do not punish yourself if you did trust too freely. Do not be angry with yourself for being too gracious, too accepting, for having high expectations, for feeling deeply and being human. Your instincts were probably right, it is the world that has not quite caught up yet. Keep believing in goodness. Be resilient and self-loving so negative experiences do not crush you. Your compassion, charm, wit and good nature, these are still your super powers. Grow from hard moments but do not allow them to poison your blood, to sour your smiles, to stifle your laugher.

You are so much more than them.

The post Maria Askew on Strength and Having the Courage to Kick Ass appeared first on The Quarter Club.

1. Tell us about you – what motivates you?

People are fascinating. If you take the time to speak to someone on the street for longer than five minutes, you are 90 per-cent likely to find out something really interesting that will stop and make you think. I’m motivated by human beings and their complicated – but sometimes beautifully simple – stories. I think if we all took a little more time between the skinny lattés and Twitter updates to stop and talk to each other, the world would be a much better place. We spend too much time in our own heads and I think it’s tragic, so I guess my motivation is the desire to share, learn and celebrate.

2. What does a day in the life of you look like?

Not particularly exciting! I get into work at about 8.45 (apt time for stress-free porridge making in the kitchen)  and the first thing I do is log onto The Female Lead’s Twitter(oh god – how did I become one of those girls?). It’s a bit pathetic, I know, but Twitter has been a really key tool in spreading the world of The Female Lead and has led to some pretty hefty connections for The Female Lead book too. I’ll usually have a scout around for stories about amazing women or newsworthy female issues and schedule them to be tweeted throughout the day. Oh and Google Alerts too – they’ve been an unlikely blessing! The working day varies depending on whether I have any interviews book in or events to go to or if there’s a piece I’m working on. I am lucky enough to be invited to lots of events filled to the brim with inspiring, kick-ass women so if there’s something on I try my best to go. You never know who’s stories might be on offer… Otherwise it’s chasing women to take part in The Female Lead book – which is much more time consuming than it sounds! Most of the chasing and scheduling has to be done in the afternoon, and sometimes later into the evening as most of the women we deal with at the moment are U.S. based.

3. What’s the most courageous thing you’ve ever done?

I’m definitely not much of a dare devil – even small lifts make me nervous. I guess leaving a very large news corporation and international publishers to begin working on a relatively new start-up was the biggest risk I’ve ever taken. Having said that, I’ve never looked back for a moment and I’ve never been happier.

4. What does Balance mean to you in your life?

Balance is being able to enjoy each and every aspect of your life to its full extent. I’ve always found that if one aspect of your life is off kilter and taking up too much head-space, it tips the scale and trickles into the other areas of your life. Work hard, stay late, do overtime but stop when it makes you unhappy. Life’s unfair, random and, to be honest – can be pretty shit – so you may as well enjoy the few things that are under your control.

5. Who is your role model and why?

How long have you got? I have about 10 million! I would say my amazing mother Simmons who is obviously the most remarkable woman in the world, but that’s painfully unoriginal so…

Our founder, Edwina Dunn is a very special woman. Not only has she achieved a huge amount in her career and fought her way up in the male dominated industry of data science, but she is absolutely dedicated to using her position to helping the next generation. Her passion for encouraging young people to achieve their goals is infectious and her enthusiasm spurs me on to believe that we have the power to drive a worthwhile change. Not to mention the fact that she is honestly one of the kindest and most generous women that I have ever met. Oh, and she’s a great provider of sweet treats for the office – which always helps!

6. What’s the most inspiring thing you’ve read, seen or done in the last month?

Sometimes, I have days at work when I think, “surely this can’t be my job?”. A few weeks ago, I had one of those days. I heard Michelle Obama was making an appearance at a girls’ school in East London so last minute, I managed to wangle my way onto the press list. Not expecting to get anywhere near close to the action, I thought I may aswell pop down for an hour and see if – at the very least – I could sneak a tweet out of it.

When I was shown my designated seat with a clear view of the stage, I couldn’t quite believe my luck. Low and behold, out came FLOTUS from behind the curtains (accompanied by the scariest friggin’ mafia-style security team EVER), and I was transfixed. Speaking with such honesty, devotion and conviction, The First Lady explained to a room full of teenage girls, in one of the poorest areas in London, how they could set about achieving their dreams. Although Michelle’s face (and mightily toned arms) was a mesmerizing sight, what I really couldn’t take my eyes off was the look on the girls’ faces as they watched one of the most powerful women in the world tell them that they were “brilliant, beautiful, intelligent, talented” and ultimately held the key to the success of the next generation. I felt my toes tingle as I watched something flicker in each and every one of those girls, almost as if a switch had gone off and suddenly, all the doors were open and everything was possible. It was the most inspiring and thrilling event I have ever been privileged enough to attend and I pledge to support FLOTUS forever.

The post Eve Simmons: Editorial Assistant For The Female Lead Talks About The Happiness She Found In Leaving A Large News Corporation For A Start-Up, Human Stories And Michelle Obama appeared first on The Quarter Club.

Honestly? Money. I’ve earned my own money, and loved earning my own money, since I got my first Saturday job at 15. When I was 16 my teacher told me I had to stop working or drop an A-level, so I dropped the A-level (history). I don’t come from a poor family but neither is it one with lots of ‘spare’ cash sloshing about. It’s one where what you earn – and what you save out of that for the future, carefully – is what you have and you can take pride in anything you buy with it (be it stuff or self-protection) because your own efforts made it. I’ve never had any grand plan or ambition in an abstract sense. I never thought I’d be a writer, so I’d just like to be able to keep doing this job, something I like to do and – I think – am good at and which keeps me financially secure. That’s the dream.

2. What does a day in your life look like?

A bad one is lots of different bits of work with short deadlines squeezed in between bouts of childcare, admin, cooking, laundry and other bollocks. A good one is long stretches of decent writing (or research for the book I’m currently working on, about children’s literature) time interrupted only by cups of tea and maybe a walk round the park if the weather’s good. The former drive me fucking demented, the latter happen too rarely to be restorative. But most days are somewhere in between. I am permanently in need of a three hour nap but I manage to limit the fulfilment of this desire to about once a month. Twice, tops.

3. What is the most courageous thing you’ve ever done?

Left a career in the law to become a freelance writer. I shit myself daily still.

4. Tell us about your relationship to change?

Hate it. Fear it. Not built for it. Go to great lengths to arrange my life so that it does not occur. Will accept it only with the greatest reluctance and resentment.

5. Who is your role model and why?

I don’t have one. I know we’re all supposed to but I don’t. I don’t think I’ve ever looked for them. I have friends I admire hugely for who they are, what they’ve done, how they approach various aspects of life, but they are mostly ones I made in later life when the need for role models has passed.

6. What’s the most inspiring thing you’ve read, seen or done in the last month?

Apparently, the futurist Alvin Toffler asks Fortune 500 CEOs who bring him in as a consultant to their businesses and so on, “How productive do you think your workforce would be if it wasn’t toilet-trained?” It’s a way of making people think about how much we take for granted, especially when it comes to women’s unpaid work, and how just because things some how go unseen and unrewarded they can nevertheless be impossibly valuable. We should all, as women, remember that when we come to evaluate our own worth in a job or situation, and in the wider context too. Also, it gives me hope that when print does finally die and I can no longer make a living, I could retrain as “a futurist.” What a time to be alive. What a time to be alive.

The post Lucy Mangan: Guardian Columnist, Stylist Columnist And Book Writer Talks To TQC About Career Change, Motivations And Napping appeared first on The Quarter Club.

I was 17 before I set foot in a theatre. It wasn’t something our family did. We didn’t have many books at home either-not novels or poetry anyway- mostly, as I remember it- there were my dad’s journals from The British Dental Association and Oral medicine textbooks. They were full of terrifying photographs of pustule-ridden jaws and cracked molars. As an 8 year old, I could tell you about Gingivitis, but not about The Cheshire Cat.
Don’t feel sorry for me though. What my family lacked in literary resources, we made up for with imagination. I was not read bedtime stories as a child, instead my dad made up stories on the hop, sitting beside me on the covers while I, tucked up underneath, was the best crowd ever.

“What do you want it to be about?”
“…of when you were a little boy.”

And there, a love for storytelling, listening and improvisation was born. I drifted off to sleep in the cocoa plantation behind my dad’s childhood home where he used to hide himself to bunk off school; or being chased by angry little monkeys whose mangoes he’d stolen. These things I’d never seen or experienced, but nevertheless I lived out vividly in those moments through those stories. So I should possible correct my opening statement:
As a child I was taken to the theatre every night.

Back to 17 year old me. That night, at the first public theatre I’d ever been in, my heart staged a coup on my rational mind. We were at The National Theatre, watching Hamlet.

I’d never read a Shakespeare play apart from bits of enforced Romeo and Juliet in English at school. Hamlet, as far as I knew, was a brand of mild cigar. Drama was officially labeled ‘A Hobby’. Where I was coming from actors were white, posh and having drunk sex with any random passer-by. Also, I was the stranger at the party that night- this was the A-Level English trip and I was studying Physics, Chemistry and Biology- shaping up to take over my dad’s dental practice, as planned. It was to be a life of regular holidays, regular paychecks just…regularity. Not a bad life, in fact a good life. Just that it was somebody else’s life, not mine.

That night, I found out how far I’d been alienated from my own heart, which was full of questions and curiosities. How diligently I’d been taught and learned to leave apple carts upright; stones unturned. How well I’d learned my lines, taught to me by the prevailing culture here at that time and still being recited by little girls and women everywhere: ”Remember, above all other things, to be pleasing ”.
At the end of 3.5 hours of Ian Charlesdon’s now legendary Hamlet (I had no idea who he was at the time) I was weeping, sitting on the edge of my seat, thinking, “Doing THAT is what the rest of my life has got to be about.”
My heart had come to get me. The courage I found, which is only one type of courage, was the courage to be honest with myself and give my heart some legitimacy and a voice in my life.

Courage. The word, has a Latin root: ‘cor-‘: ‘heart’. An early definition of courage was “To speak one’s mind by telling all one’s heart.” I told everyone then that I planned to become an actor, and dealt with the series of life explosions that happened- the expectations I dashed, my reputation as a reliable, predictable person smashed: I was saying I’d give up my A-level studies with a year to go in a school which was fiercely academic. My parents have only just got up off the floor-it’s taken about two decades.

When I said I was going to be an actor, it was bad enough, but if I dared to describe myself as an artist, I noticed, the effect was off the scale. That phrase, “I’m an artist” was met with ridicule and embarrassment by so-called normal people – a sort of “oooh, get you!” attitude. It still is, sometimes. But that’s what I am. I create stuff: art, so I guess that makes me an artist (also known as a poncey-lay-about-workshy-fop).

By now, the labels don’t stick. Name-calling is the prime sport of cynics. Don’t listen to cynics, by the way. Cynicism is just fear in a suit with a couple of GCSEs. I remember one sitting me down in the young days of my ambitions and telling me that it didn’t matter how talented I was, English people didn’t want to see people like me on their screens and stages. They wanted Grace Kelly and Audrey Hepburn (who doesn’t?!).
“They’ll never want you. You’re not their idea of beautiful,” he said, “You can’t make a success of it-”
And then the classic passive-aggressive knockout punch:
“I’m saying this because I don’t want you to make a fool of yourself.”
Well he was partly right. My race has been an issue- but for other people, not me. So here I am and I don’t apologise either for being born female or brown or for being those things and daring to put myself ‘out there’. Those two things are how I was made to be. If either or both of them make somebody uncomfortable, then they need to ask themselves some hard questions. Just don’t ask me to disappear to make you feel better. I’m not going to do that.

That sounded convincing didn’t it? That list of defiances I just trotted out. But those statements don’t slide easily out of me. I’m not just ‘that type of person’- strong, strident whatever you want to call it. I don’t really buy into that- that one person is naturally brave while another will always be timid. I think people are more complex. If I’ve learned anything about character over the last 16 years as an actress, it’s that nobody in the world is just one thing all the time- they are on some level, choosing how to be to deal with the situation they find themselves in. Sometimes, you just have to be brave because a life depends on it, say. But often- you don’t. Courage of the kind I’m talking about isn’t an everyday imperative. You don’t have to listen to your heart. Nobody will make you follow your dreams. You don’t have to try and make the world a better, fairer place. There are others- who are probably getting paid to do it!

Courage, like this takes work; takes time. It’s seeing that there might be a choice and not ignoring that choice. You’re making that choice, not once and for all- but once and for all every day. Those brave, unapologetic statements I made before come out of standing on the brink of things and “yes”, but being very worried that I was doing the wrong thing and about to make my life worse rather than better. They come out of knowing what being laughed at feels like. They come out of being the cynic who’s raising a nasty eyebrow and then hating myself. They come out of experiences like getting taken to pieces by a theatre critic in a National newspaper and then having to get back on the stage the night after and do the whole thing again- without measuring myself by his pronouncements.

There’s that famous quote variously attributed to Mark Twain and Nelson Mandela about courage not being the absence of fear, but making the choice to do something despite the fear. In my experience, that’s true. Any bravery I’ve shown has come out of knowing how it feels to be weak, scared and rejected in the past and doing the thing anyway. The work of being courageous is in taking oneself through that choice:  “Come on, Me. Let’s just bloody do this!” Then getting through the stuff that’s on the other side of it: “Well, that was awful. Let’s do it again but better.” Or “-that was amazing! Let’s do it again and better.”

There’s another type of courage. ‘Encouragement’ has the word courage in it quite rightly. Anything brave I’ve done, I’ve done in company. You take your journey, your learning, the confidence you’ve built and you nourish other people with it. I think it would be revolutionary to work places and social spaces if we could find the courage to be kind rather than pointlessly competitive. What if we stopped comparing ourselves with others and sang our own, unique note- out loud, true and free and damn the Haters? Who are these Haters anyway? They’re you and me when we’re weak and frustrated. They’re not them; they’re us. Can we free them and ourselves too? That would be really brave and hopeful.

Courage and Hope: those two great intangibles that, along with Imagination, make humans illogical in such a magnificent way. So here, this is encouragement from me to you: begin!

The post Pri Burford’s Questionings #1: From Her Talk On Courage At Salon #1 [Courage] 20.04.15 appeared first on The Quarter Club.

Being average. I think I have an innate fear of not living up to my potential. I’ve been very fortunate to have had an incredible education, spent 5 years at uni getting a masters degree and amazing, I mean really amazing, parents who support EVERYTHING I do. I am motivated by living up to all of that.

Perhaps you could say that fear motivates me. Fear certainly gives me urgency, takes me out of my comfort zone and gives me balls.

You see I don’t want to be like everyone else. I want to be different. I want to be remembered, somehow. That’s a pretty motivational dream. In fact, it’s not a dream, it’s a plan. It almost feels too much to fulfill in one lifetime but I refuse to live by limits; humans are by nature evolutionary creatures, but we have to strive for ‘more’ in order to evolve so I’m not scared of having big plans.

If I don’t have a plan, most likely I’ll fall into someone else’s plan and I don’t want to be motivated by other people. I do want to be inspired by other people, and I am, very much so, but they don’t motivate me. I’ve always believed that happiness is ready-made.

2. What does a day in the life of you look like?

I have to be honest, every single day involves me waking up wondering if today is the day that everyone is going to realize I have no fucking idea what I’m doing. It would seem my late 20s has involved me ‘winging it’- rather well so far but every day I’m not found out, is a blessing.

As a Freelance Creative Copywriter no two days look the same but every single one of them involves coffee, a fine-liner pen, some paper and ideas. If I am lucky (more often than not) I’m working with amazing people, like designers and coders and bonkers clients and most importantly people with stories to tell.

Most of the time I work in Creative Agencies, coming up with ideas on how to sell mortgages to people who don’t want them or finding inventive ways to get people to plan dates using a Google Hangout. Whether it’s making ads, writing articles, or defining the tone of voice of a brand I’m so lucky that I meet amazing people all day long so I’m usually working on a side-project or two for cause’s I really care about.

It’s clichéd but they call Creatives problem solvers because that’s essentially what we do. We take a problem, add some lateral thinking, push up the budget by 20%, use some sexy language and innovative tech and then we sell, sell, sell.

I am incredibly lucky that all I need to-do my job is open my eyes, listen to the world and look at things slightly differently from most people.

Most of my days end with gin.

3. What’s the most courageous thing you’ve ever done?

I’ve had two moments in my life where I’ve be courageous, the first made way for the second.

The first time was realizing I was human and that I only got one shot at this shit. My best friend and her sister were killed in a tragic car accident almost 3 years ago and fuck me, it broke me. But it also made me. It made me look differently at EVERYTHING and it made me change.

I really wanted to crawl into a hole and feel really terrible about the fact that I had deliberately not spoken to my best friend for over a year because I was pissed off about something she did when we were 19. I wanted to die over the fact she emailed me a week before she died to tell me she missed me but I didn’t think it was important enough to reply.

I cannot tell you how angry I was at the world, and I was angry for a long time. But I had the courage to accept that people are stupid, that I was young and doubly stupid and I was fucking lucky that I could learn that lesson and still live.

And because I learnt that lesson, I did the second courageous thing. I quit my ‘wrong’ job and went freelance so that I had the time and space to find the ‘right’ one. That move is still working out but I’m happy and I’m doing ok and I guess that’s good enough for now.

Like I said, we only get one shot and I saw no point in pursuing a job I hated out of fear. I can’t be scared of living- I have to do it for them if not for myself.

4. Tell us about your relationship to Change?

I really enjoy change. I relish in it. Life is unpredictable so I start to feel uncomfortable when things are consistent. It makes me jumpy. I know that’s not normal though- I know most people like feeling comfortable but complacency will kill you.

Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing I enjoy more than knowing where my next paycheck is coming from, knowing I’m loved and appreciated and everything is okay but who wants ‘ok’. I’m always striving for more than ok, which is probably why I live from one extreme to another.

I’m either functioning at a low frequency and think the world is going to end or I’m basically on the verge of winning an Oscar. That’s where fighting against ‘ok’ will get you. That’s where constantly pushing for change will get you.

Without change there’s no progress. I think women today are naturally programmed to want change because we don’t settle for a lack of progress. There’s always something to improve on. Whether it’s more money or smaller thighs we live a life under construction. That sounds hard work but it’s wired into our DNA, it’s certainly hardwired into the minds of the Millennia generation that’s for sure.

They say we’re narcissistic and coddled but we’re just not willing to settle, because we were told we could have it all and we’ll change anything to make that happen.

5. Who is your role model and why?

Women. Women are my role model. We fight wars for education, for the vote, for better working conditions, for safety, for change in legislation, for the way we’re perceived, for equal pay and equal rights, and most importantly, we’re doing it for each other. That’s fucking inspiring.

Women don’t want to be saved, women want to save ourselves. And we want to do it together. There’s so much power in that. Bitches get stuff done.

Look at the women around us achieving- Emma Watson, Tina Fey, Beyonce, Jennifer Lawrence, Angelina Jolie, Mallika Sherawat, Malala Yousafzai, Laura Bates, Zerlna Maxwell, Lucy-Anne Holmes to name literally just a few. These are women who are paying the way for not only the new generation of fearless teens behind us, but those women who haven’t quite found their voice in front.

Whenever I feel low, or like a failure or like I’m getting life really wrong, there is always a woman I can look at who I can identify with who or who’s been through something similar and I go ‘ok, you’ve got your shit together; because of you I wont give up’. That woman could be my mum (often it is) or it could be J-Law but the point is, it’s always a woman.

I don’t look at Harry Styles and think, ‘God you really stand for something amazing- you’ve fought and won’- someone like FKA Twigs though, you just know she has no fear.

6. What’s the most inspiring thing you’ve read, seen or done in the last month?

I’m working on a campaign at the moment, it’s for Rape Crisis UK and it’s a project that seeks to dispel some myths around what constitutes as consent, at the same time as empowering young women.

Now, one of my friends has been raped and it was her story that inspired this project in the first place. That sounds slightly off but it’s not, her story is inspiring because how she’s dealing with it is.

I spoke to her about the project a few weeks ago, checking she wasn’t going to feel uncomfortable about me sharing her story. She told me I could say what I wanted and then she asked what she could do. I found that bonkers. Here’s this beautiful woman who’s been through this awful thing who’s not only willing to share her story and but who also feels like she can still do more. That touched me.

It’s back to the thing I said about not doing anything out of fear. She refuses to live in fear as a result of what happened. She wants to turn that fear into something she can use, in this case, education.

You can read more about Natalie’s incredible project, #ThisDoesntMeanYes, right HERE

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1. Tell us about you – what motivates you?

I’m an actress who blogs and tweets about the ridiculousness of the acting world. My main focus is on sexist, exploitative casting calls and, what motivates me, is the hope that one day the industry will change. I hope, by raising awareness, I can do my bit in creating a more equal industry where women aren’t exploited and seen as little more than set dressing. 

I wanted to provide an insight into what this industry is really like and what actors face on a daily basis. The casting side is something that people rarely see and I wanted to make people aware of how it operates.

If I can inspire one new filmmaker to create a better female character or teach one new female actor that they don’t have to go up for a role they feel uncomfortable with, then I’m happy.

2. What does a day in the life of you look like?

I have a day job so I’m usually up about 8 ish. I get up earlier so I can get a chance to check casting calls and comment on any before I head off for the day.

My day job is pretty hectic so, when there are any quiet spells, I’m immediately on to the casting sites to see, firstly, if there’s anything I can apply for or, if there’s nothing, see if there’s anything I can add to my Casting Call Woe Tumblr.

I do an 11 hour day so my commute home is another chance for me to check Twitter, Tumblr and the casting sites before I get back, catch up & have dinner with my boyfriend, watch TV, have one more trawl of casting sites and then crash for the night.

You’ll know when I’ve got a day off because I’ll be tweeting incessantly about casting calls I’ve clearly missed over the last few days. These are usually done while I’m sat around in pyjamas, drinking tea and watching RuPaul’s Drag Race.

3. What’s the most courageous thing you’ve ever done?

Tweeting about terrible casting calls. It’s still not as courageous as I’d like as I still do it anonymously but speaking out about the industry was a brave step for me. In a job where you constantly feel like you have to impress and be in everyone’s good books, it can be a risk being so vocal which is why I chose to be anonymous.

I hope one day that I’ll be brave enough to not have to hide behind an account. I’m slowly getting there and have now started doing short stand-up sets about the work that I do. That felt like a huge step for me but it has been ridiculously empowering, especially finding the funny in what are often painfully awful and insulting casting calls.

4. Tell us about your relationship to Change?

I am a huge supporter of change. I believe the first step to change is about creating awareness to show why something has got to improve. That’s why I started tweeting about the acting industry because I wanted people to know what it was really like and that the reality wasn’t what they were reading in interviews with successful actors in Sunday supplements.

Change comes from those who have been previously unheard or ignored getting their voice out there and showing the world what is really happening and making them aware of the real issues that are being faced everyday. Then, once that awareness is there, support and action can take place and then, slowly, change can happen.

The problem with wanting change is that you have to be patient. The issues we face in this industry are frustrating but I do feel, however slowly it may seem, we are making progress.

5. Who is your role model and why?

I’m not sure I can name just one. But Jennifer Walters, Dawn French, Victoria Wood and Julie Walters will always be role models for me. They are wonderful, funny, empowering women that I grew up watching and loving. From a young age, I’ve seen fantastically brilliant women on my TV and I think that’s where my frustration comes from. How come I could grow up with all these inspiring women making wonderful television and then, now, we appear to have so little?

But they have always reminded me that, even in a male-dominated industry, women can be funny, powerful, inventive and a constant source of inspiration.

6. What’s the most inspiring thing you’ve read, seen or done in the last month?

Jessica Hynes and her offer to give up 20 days of her time to visit 20 state schools to encourage pupils to enter the acting and writing professions. Giving access to state school pupils is so important to ensure that our creative industries remain rich and interesting. It’s something that the charity Arts Emergency is championing too.

As someone who went to a state school where there were very few opportunities or encouragement for pupils to enter creative professions, it’s wonderful to see this work being done. We are in such danger of these industries becoming elitist (if they’re not already) and we must support those who are ensuring that the arts are open and accessible to everyone.

 Defintely, defintely take a read of The Casting Call Woe blog here.

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1.Tell us about you – what motivates you?

Deadlines, fear of penury, anxiety, tax bills. I write best when I’m in a state of wound up terror. Or at least I think I do. I quite possibly don’t.

2. What does a day in the life of you look like?

Get up, shout at The Today programme,  make coffee. Walk dogs, read digital version of The Guardian on line. Read it again just in case. Noodle about doing emails. Do a bit of work. Check The Guardian again. Read a book. Do a bit of work. Stare at the screen. Take phone calls about new drafts of scripts. Take phone calls telling me another project has gone down the tubes.  Read a different book. Stare at the screen. Do a bit of work. Make dinner for my husband and myself. Feed dogs.  Pour wine.  Drink it. Eat. Watch Masterchef/Grand Designs or BBC4. I hardly ever go out, and I do exactly the same in France as I do in London, but minus the TV. My husband and I mostly talk about scripts, plays, books, projects, and  how to pay off the mortgage. He works in the attic and I work in my study.  At the weekends we do the same but with wall to wall Netflix in the evening.  In January we watch all The BAFTA films. Sometimes I go to Pilates.  Sometimes I go into town for a meeting and the whole day  is ruined. Sometimes I call my agent and say I don’t know how to write and she says you’ve been saying that for 20 years. I go to bed and read till 2.a.m.  Quite often, just before I drop off, I have a mind blowing idea. But when I wake up I’ve either forgotten it, or it wasn’t mind blowing at all, and I can’t imagine why I thought it was.  Sometimes I think I’m brilliant and sometimes I think I’m a complete failure.

3. What’s the most courageous thing you’ve ever done?

I don’t think I’ve ever done anything remotely courageous. I don’t like heights, funfair rides, confrontation, or parties where I don’t know at least 2 people really, really well. I once almost went to a cocktail party thrown by my publisher, but bottled out at the last minute.

4. Tell us about your relationship to Change?

Change is good. I like moving house and slamming the door behind me and never caring about the place again.

5. Who is your role model and why?

My husband is much nicer than me. I guess it’s him. Before I met him I didn’t have a role model. I’m not sure what it means, really.  When I was in my twenties I quite wanted to be Caryl Churchill. I used to invite her to my birthday parties (she was a friend of a friend)  in the hope I might become her, by sheer proximity. Or osmosis. Or something.

6. What’s the most inspiring thing you’ve read, seen or done in the last month?

Probably the  translation of Karl Ove Knausgard’s 3^rd volume. His books are the crystal meth of literature.  Oh, and my friend Leslee Udwin’s  extraordinary film about rape in India. India’s Daughter. It inspired me that she actually managed to make the bloody thing at all.

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I have been photographing for more than 35 years. All my work is about people and everyday life. My personal projects have all centered on my identity and experience as a woman. 100 Leading Ladies is my most recent project. The inspiration for it evolved over many years.  In it I look at women of my own generation and older. These 100 senior British women, over 55, are people who have influenced our culture.

I always wanted to be an artist for as long as I can remember, but without a role model it took me a while to get there. First I was a painter, then a graphic designer until I finally became solely a photographer. I have always loved photography and grew up in the heyday of Life magazine, which my parents subscribed to and an early family snap shows me deeply engrossed in reading that magazine when I was about 5 years old. I grew up in a house full of paintings and sculpture 50s modern American design.

I married a Brit and we finally settled in the UK more than 40 years ago. I strongly believe that you should follow your dreams.

2. What does a day in the life of you look like?

I have a ridiculously strong work ethic. I wake up early every morning and try to get to work by 9.30 am. At the moment I am crazy busy as I’ve been a bit overwhelmed by the amazingly positive response to 100 Leading Ladies. The collection is currently being exhibited in the reception of Hogan Lovells’ London offices; the exhibition opened on the 8th June and will run until the 24th July (anyone is welcome to view the collection). I have been extremely busy recently preparing for the exhibition. This is the third time 100 Leading Ladies has been shown since last October when it was exhibited at Somerset House. I have a great assistant, but sadly can only afford her about once a week unless we are working on a commercial job, when it can stretch to twice a week. I have some trusted suppliers and lots of freelancers and I rely on them all. I was recently approached by a student about to graduate in English at Nottingham to intern for me in social media and she started on Friday night last.

I am working on photographically illustrating a book project for Hattie Garlick (who did all the interviews for 100 Leading Ladies)  entitled Born to Be Wild all about the need for children to have play and educational opportunities out of doors and to explore Nature. We are halfway through it and about to shoot Spring in about 2 weeks time, so there is a lot to prepare for that. Hattie’s book is published in 2016.

An expat group of women in Cyprus have invited me to present 100 Leading Ladies audiovisually and they are flying me out there this Thursday, so I am trying to get all the other work in hand liaised and organized so that it can carry on without me.

I have hundreds of 100 Leading Ladies books to sell, so I am always thinking of ways to do that. I am working on a private portraiture commission and just started work on a very new project, but that is in research. I mostly work at home so I usually don’t finish until at least 7 pm unless I make myself stop!

3. What’s the most courageous thing you’ve ever done?

Well, there have been a few, looking back like becoming a full time mature student with a 1 year old and a 3 year old because I’d chucked my degree to marry my British husband years before.

I’d say that breaking up with that man after being together 27 years was pretty courageous.

Self-publishing my first book, Woman to Woman, in 1990 with the help of an Arts Council grant was quite an endeavor.

But probably in terms of scale 100 Leading Ladies was the most brave as I mortgaged my home to fund it, then had to sell that home and severely downsize in what was the middle of the project, which including fund raising was three years work.

4. Tell us about your relationship to Change?

I don’t think I have a great relationship with change, but one of the things I do like about getting older is that, for me, I am better with it and less frightened of it now. I see it as a challenge and and an opportunity to learn. I now welcome stepping out of my comfort zone, but that doesn’t mean I find it easy. If anything I think I am becoming more anxious. I just tell myself that it makes life more interesting. I hate boring.

5. Who is your role model and why?

My famous example of this and one of the motivations for my project is that one of my role models as a young emerging photographer was the late Eve Arnold. When she was speaking about her work back in 1985 I was completely in awe of her and attended the lecture. I never ask questions as I am quite shy naturally, but as she’d mentioned her grandson I felt I just had to ask her how she managed to have such a fascinating international career and have a family as well. She answered, ” That is too painful to talk about.” That shut me up but I always kept wondering and that is why I was so curious to ask all 100 women how they managed the same thing. There is, of course, no easy answer.

I have many, many role models, a lot of who are in the 100 Leading Ladies book, so you will just have to read it. That is why it is so inspiring!

6. What’s the most inspiring thing you’ve read, seen or done in the last month?

I just came back from a much needed week away in southern Portugal, where I went by myself and loved every minute. I just saw While We Are Young and really liked that film. It sets up lots of discussion about generations and gender relations. I recently read and really enjoyed Clothes, Clothes, Clothes, Music, Music, Music, Boys, Boys, Boys by Viv Albertine and H is for Hawk by Helen MacDonald

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